The Children that were once mine…..
The 3 that got away. That’s how they are forever etched in my heart. Each of them, due to confidentiality, were coined with their very own nicknames on my social media…..JB (Jelly Bean), The crier, and Baby Girl.
I can remember the excitement that ran through my veins and exploded in my heart when we took in JB. He was OUR FIRST. I also remember the fear all foster parents have when accepting a new placement. It’s not a topic that is widely covered when going through the 10 weeks of classes that are required to get your license. There were so many questions……Who knew what HIS story would bring? How would he react when we picked him up to bring him home? What were his birth parents thinking right now?
Walking into Child Haven the next day, I was filled with anxiety. So uncertain, at that point, of how “the process” was. But the moment they handed me this 18-month old little boy, I knew all the anxiety and fear I felt was nothing compared to what he felt. All I could do was hold on to him just as tight as he was holding on to me.
We had JB a little under 6 months and The Cryer was just about a week (thankfully CPS and mom were able to work together to get all 7 siblings back). I didn’t spend a lot of time with him, but the moments we did have he spent in my arms!!!! This guy NEVER wanted to be put down and ALWAYS wanted to be carried.
Baby Girl was with us for almost 9 months, she is still the the hardest to get over.
The required classes don’t prepare your heart or your mind. It gives you the resources and foundations you need to care for an abused or neglected child. They tell you the “#1 priority is to reunify”, but at the same time to open your home and heart. I wish they taught us on how to mend our hearts when they break, and how to erase hugs and slobbery kisses these babies so willingly give.
These are 3 that got away. These 3 are still my children.