Are you SURE it’s time?

Are you SURE it’s time?

Every pregnant woman wants to know, “what happens at the end?” Is it painful? How long does it take? Will I know that it’s happening?

Well here is how everything happened for me. We were so excited for our first little boy to be born and so scared because of all the unknowns about giving birth. I was due on a Saturday and I had finished my last day of my job the Friday beforehand. I was so excited!

Not knowing what my days would look like with a new baby and no job to keep me busy. I was filled with excitement but I was so nervous about giving birth. I do not do pain well, at all. We had set out a plan to try the natural birth thing, no epidural. You are rolling your eyes at that… am I right? Rightly so and I don’t blame you. Like I said it was our first birth, everything was unknown, no one can explain how painful it will be. Yes they always tell you “very painful” but you’ll never truly understand what that means until you’ve experienced it first hand.

We walked the neighborhood that night, I sat on that yoga ball like I was told to do, I relaxed, I prepared. I did it all and nothing happened. We waited all Saturday with NOTHING. Boy, we were so disappointed. More than anything we just wanted it over. The anxiety of it all is the worst.

So we walked and walked some more that day trying to get something going. Then I felt it, small but I felt it. “Is this it?” “Greg I think it’s started, do you think we should go to the hospital now?” We counted between contractions and they were the right time apart.

We went to the hospital and they laughed at me when I went in! The Dr. actually told me “if you are able to speak to me and be nice, then this isn’t it.” That scared me. So they checked me and said I was in early labor. After that we went home and waited. At 4am I woke from sleeping and felt horrible pains. I got on my medicine ball and tried to wait it out, my contractions hurt, but weren’t horrible enough to wake my husband just yet.

5am came, it was hurting, bad. I woke my husband and said “we better go.” Naturally, he looked at me and said “are you sure…?” I can still see him asking me that. With tears in my eyes I said “YES!” We loaded everything up and ran.

I got in the car and sat on a towel. Thanks birthing classes. Your water can literally burst anytime and Lord knows I didn’t want that all over my car if it happened. Our hospital was an hour away. We chose it because a friend worked there and we knew it was good, so off we went. Luckily there was no traffic or cops out, my husband was booking it.

On the way there my contractions advanced so far that I was having to concentrate solely on them and trying to breathe. I was gripping the headrest and trying my best not to scream with the pain. My husband frantically called my parents to let them know and somewhere in the mix my water burst. I told my husband “OH MY GOSH, I either just peed my pants or my water broke”. My exact words, it was a proud moment. We arrived at the hospital at 6 am, they got me a wheelchair and they took me to the birthing wing. My husband was trying his darndest to fill out the paperwork. I can’t remember what exactly he needed help with but I know I answered in a loud voice.

There I was in a wheelchair, concentrating on breathing through these very close very painful contractions and I had to somehow remember the my social and medical history to give him?!?!? Seriously, people. After the paperwork was done, they made me get into a gown. At this point I am having so much trouble standing that a nurse had to help me. It was SOOOO embarrassing!

Then I had to get into the hospital bed and they got my IV going from there. They asked me some questions and then the nurse asked if I was doing an epidural. My husband starts to say “Oh no we decided ag…” and I interrupt him saying “GIVE ME AN EPIDURAL PLEASE!”. Oh yes…. that happened. After they get the required dosage of IV in me they got that big huge epidural needle in me. Seriously, the pain was nothing compared to the knowledge that if I didn’t sit still it could screw up my spine. Keep in mind I had to hold still WHILE CONTRACTING!! Is there not a better way doctors?? Come on!

After we make it through getting the epidural and they are about to release that sweet sweet pain reducing medicine I start pushing. Not the “okay now, 1, 2, 3 PUSH kind of pushing.” This is something your body naturally does, it’s not planned.You can’t stop it, it’s just your body doing what it knows to do with labor. It is the oddest feeling and you have absolutely NO control over pushing (with my second child they were telling me to stop pushing and I absolutely could not stop). After I started pushing our baby boy was here within 10–15 minutes. Our precious little baby boy!

So ladies, that’s childbirth in all its glory. No one can ever tell you how painful it will be because it is different for everyone. No one can prepare you for any of it. You will be anxious and nervous till you take that sweet little bundle of joy home.

Just know that after those 9 glorious/exhausting/horrible months you will be holding the most precious gift. You will be filled with more love and happiness in that moment than ever. You will be a mommy to a sweet little baby. ❤

You can follow Jessica on her blog, Silence is Suspicious, for more of her Momma stories. She also shares her daily adventures on her Instagram.

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