Mom Dating 101: How to Make Mom Friends
Let me just start by saying that I choose to be a stay-at-home-mom because (1) I am lucky enough to be able to afford it, and (2) my husband and I agree that it is in our family’s best interest for me to be around during our babies’ formative years.
Being a stay-at-home-mom is not for everyone. But it is my dream job. Not because I’m lazy and I don’t want to go to work for someone else — that is a perk, though. It’s my dream job because there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing than playing with my boys and watching them grow. Well, sometimes I’d rather be doing something else (like when I’m shoulder-deep in my one-year-old’s poop diaper while my two-year-old is simultaneously throwing a tantrum), but in the grand scheme of things, there isn’t anything else I’d rather do.
That being said, being a stay-at-home-mom is rough sometimes. It can leave you feeling like you haven’t done anything productive all day — when in reality, you’ve been moving nonstop making sandwiches, wiping butts, tying shoes, chasing balls, reading books, or kissing boo-boos. So when your husband comes home and asks you why the laundry hasn’t been done and what you’ve been doing all day, you just lose it on him. I was keeping your kids alive, man! That’s what I’ve been doing all day.
But sometimes keeping kids alive all day by yourself makes a momma lonely. So mommy friends are a must. A lot of people don’t have a good group of mom friends, but I’m telling you, it will make your life so much more fun. One of the excuses I used to hear a lot was “none of my friends have kids.” Well, sweetheart, that’s when you need to put yourself out there and get social. It’s something I like to call “mom dating.”
With social media being at the forefront of everything we do, there is just no excuse. Join a local mommy group on Facebook. That’s an easy way to find people to connect with that have kids of similar ages. You’ve got to be an active member of the group for this to work, though. Introduce yourself, ask questions, and start discussions. That’s how the other moms in the group are going to learn about the kind of person you are, and it’ll help them gauge how well you would possibly get along with each other. Seriously, it is so easy to connect with other moms this way, but you have to be willing to make the first move.
If Facebook groups aren’t your cup of tea, and you’re a bit more old school, then I suggest going to a playground. Strike up a conversation with the mom next to you; or if you’re feeling especially bold, walk up to the mommy group that’s already standing by the swings and introduce yourself. Chances are, you probably have something in common. Maybe you don’t though, and that’s okay too. But you’ll never know unless you ask.
The key to successful mom dating is to not be afraid of getting turned down. Some moms might not want to be your friend, and that’s fine. You still have to be willing to put yourself out there. Nine times out of ten, it’s totally worth it, and that mom you struck up a conversation with at the park is just looking for a mommy friend too.
Being a stay-at-home-mom doesn’t have to be lonely. You can stay home with your kids AND still have healthy adult interaction. But it’s not something that’s just going to happen — you have to get out there and play the field. You have to make your own Momma tribe. I promise you, they’re out there; you’ve just got to find them. Yes, it can be a little daunting to put yourself out there, but once you start doing that, it starts to become a little bit easier each time. And trust me when I tell you, you just might be braver than you think.