When are YOU going back to work?
If I had a dollar for every time I got asked this question I would never have to work a day again. Acquaintances, distant family, friends AND loved ones have ALL asked me this. They’ve asked me so many times I’ve lost count.
Honestly, I feel attacked each and every time it happens. The urge to snap at them like an animal backed into a corner comes over me whenever this happens “how dare they ask such a personal and accusing question!”, usually comes to mind. When I get asked that dreaded question I literally cringe. I go through the list of everything I do daily at home, with the kids and my Startup company… is that not considered a job?
*Side note I am not discounting working moms in the least, we all have different struggles, so please don’t take this as a jab at you. Thanks!
One of the hardest parts to swallow is most of the time this question comes from people who LITERALLY had one parent stay at home with the kids while the other worked. Talk about ironic and judgy right?
A little background to my current situation, I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Civil Engineering… yep that’s what I finished my 5 grueling years of college with. I never was interested in becoming a professional engineer due to the “secretarial work” that would be life for at least 3 years. Probably more because I’m a woman. That’s what a beginning engineer has to look forward to and that wasn’t my go-getter style at all.
After school I continued working in the restaurant industry… Vegas baby! But seriously, I only left the industry after I got pregnant with my oldest. I decided it was time to put on the big girl pants and got a job as a financial adviser. After crashing and burning with a supposed “big client” who turned out to be a scammer that cost me my job. I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with my youngest. With my belly showing I KNEW people wouldn’t hire me, yes yes, I know all the laws but seriously a pregnant woman trying to get a job is the worst.
Fast forward to now, I still don’t have an official “job” per-say, at least that’s how most people look at it. Daycare is EXTREMELY expensive and if I CHOSE to pursue engineering I would barely be taking any income home. Bottom line, my engineering math brain can’t take the fact that I’d go to work and not have much money if any left over after it’s all said and done.
Even though I have a degree in engineering it shouldn’t matter what my family and I decide is best for us, period. Today people have so many opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do. They don’t walk in your shoes and do not understand everything that entails.
My advice to you all is to NOT GIVE A FLYING F%$# when people ask the dreaded “So when are you going back to work?”. Honestly it’s none of their F%$#ing business. We already have enough mommy guilt as is. I’ve decided to start saying “Not sure and it’s really none of your business” when I get asked it. Come up with your own stance and feel empowered to say it, DO NOT feel guilty that you “aren’t working”.
If you have had this experience share in the comments, I would love to hear them!