When do we Stop?
When do you make the decision that enough is enough in the baby chapter of your life? Even after you’ve made that decision you’ll wonder “am I really done?”
My friend has a baby that is turning 1 this month and he is adorable, the sweetest baby I’ve ever met. He is all laughs and smiles, the kind of baby that would make anyone want another one. My friend turned to me this weekend, when we were watching him try to walk, and said “are you sure you won’t want another one” and I replied without hesitation “NOPE, I am DONE!” It kind of took me back how sure I was of myself, but after hearing her talk about her lack of sleep because of nursing, I knew I was good with my two toddlers.
I’ve told my mom on many occasions, after my husband and I made our decision, that if they came out as toddlers I would have another, but I could not go through the nursing and sleeplessness a baby brings. I had a horrible time with nursing also, no matter what I tried with the many “how to increase your supply” books I read nothing helped, so with my second child having to do formula, I think mentally I was done with that part. Not only that, my 2 year old is a hardcore Momma’s boy and sometimes I just need to draw a circle around myself and tell him do not cross that line for 5 minutes!! I love him, but some days I just get sensory overload with him.
The decision is to each his own; some people love their one child and couldn’t imagine having anymore. I had a Momma in my mom’s group who had 7 and was pregnant with her 8th! Superwoman in my opinion! Honestly I would love to have many more for when I get older and they have grand kids, I know I will want a ton of grand kids, but as a mommy right now my nerves can barely take two and it would be hard financially. We are doing what we think is right by our family.
Here are some questions my husband and I asked ourselves to make that decision:
~ Financially could we make the hospital bills again? (Especially if NICU or a special case comes up)
~ Do I want to go through childbirth again?
~ Can I be patient with an added child? (Because if your next child is almost always opposite to the one before them. My first is sweet as can be, loves to play by his self, super easy going. My second is demanding, bullies his older brother, and needs attention all the time and only sweet when he wants to be.)
~ Why would we want another baby, is something still missing from our family?
~ Do you want to go through pregnancy again? The sickness and UN-comfortableness of it all?
~ How do we feel about our family right now? Is it quiet, balanced or overwhelming?
I hope this helps some of you mommies who are on the fence about having another baby. Every child is a blessing and if we woke up tomorrow and I was pregnant I would be happy, terrified, but so very happy. This is because no matter what the Lord blesses us with He knows we can handle it. What’s that saying, He will never give us more than we can handle (even if sometimes that doesn’t feel the case), but that’s a conversation for another time.