Don’t Ruin Your Life
It’s something that I’ve heard more times than I could count. Probably something a lot of girls have heard more times than they can count. I found out I was pregnant at the age of nineteen. As I started to let the news out to family and friends there were very mixed reactions.
Legally an adult, I will admit now that at the time I was just a child, afraid of the change in my near future. I was unsure of myself and scared of becoming a bad mother… I already loved my son so much, he deserved better than the situation he was being put into. The beginning was especially tough because I received little support.
In fact, I heard plenty of negative comments directly, most negative and said behind my back. “She needs to get an abortion.” “She’s a slut.” “She ruined her life.”
All of this came pouring back to me recently. I was told just a couple of weeks ago about a family member’s cruel words. “Don’t ruin your life like [she] did,” “Do something with your life.” It didn’t matter how along ago it was said (and it was said a long time ago) or how drastically things have changed since then. Those words hit like bullets.
I’m unsure if anyone still thinks I should have gotten an abortion, that I’m a slut, or if I ruined my life, but honestly I’m so grateful to the people who tried to tear me and my little family down. Especially the ones who I was once close to; best friends and family members. The things that hurt you the most are the things that teach you the greatest lessons.
In the end these words brought me more strength then they were intended to. They gave me extra motivation to put my life on a fast track and turn things around. I wanted nothing more than to prove these people wrong, but as I look back I realize that they were wrong the moment they said it. I didn’t need to prove them wrong. Even a couple of weeks ago when the words “Don’t ruin your life” echoed again, I realized that these words never really mattered.
I am still pushing forward every day. My son didn’t ruin my life, he made it richer and more fulfilling. I may stay up late for different reasons, I may have to work harder and longer, I may never get a moment to myself, but I’m so happy that it’s because I have him in my life and I love to be there for him.
My future is bright, but most importantly, so is my son’s. I have worked so hard to give him the beautiful life he deserves. To be someone that my son can be proud of and look up to. If I could pass on anything to other moms it would be this: don’t let hate overpower love.
There will be comments and some of them will probably bother you. No matter your age, situation, or choices, don’t let anyone else make you second guess the life that you’re creating for yourself and your children. Don’t let anything or anyone ruin your life.